If u never been in heaven, u will never know the pain of living in hell..
If u never been in hell, u will never know the blisssfulness of living in heaven..

Finally, i set my dream......PHYSICIST!!!

Just now, i click on the "e"  icon on my desktop, open the yahoo website , and type the word "CAREER RELATED TO PHYSIC", and then click search.

I study in pure science class, this year form4, next year is my final year in secondary school, and also my very important year. This year, will decided my journey of life and my dream. Among Chemistry, Physics , Biology, the most subject i like is Physics, second is chemistry, the last is biology. But Chemistry is my strongest subject, i always score well in chemistry, however, if i drop biology next year, then i will have more time to focus on physic, i have confident  i can score well in physics and math if i can devote all my time on this  subject.

Focus on physics and math, not only to score A1 in SPM, but i want to get the knowledge that is not even can learn in testbook, i want to be a physicist, or a physic lecture since i enroll in the science class. At first, i think this is a cool subject. Anything that happen around us can be solved using physic theory . From observing a phenomenon, identify the problem, conducting the experiment and then analysing the data, lastly making a conclusion and discovered a new world,all of this is a cool things for me..

But what if i am not suitable in this aspect? If i drop biology, this mean i have no other road to chose anymore, i have only a road. What if i fall? What if the road is too dark and too narrow for me? What if i am not as good as i think i am? What if I just have a normal and simple brain?

I dont know what will happen if i fall down. I know there will always be obstacle on the roads, no matter which destination the roads lead to.But i am not sure i am strong enough to withstand and endure such this things. I am always under the protection of my parents, never undergo any hardship or bad life, it's ashamed to admit that i am such weak, brittle and useless, but i am a person like that. Everytime met with obstacle, i will just evading it or seek for assistant, never solve the problems by myself.

Shit~~~Who say form4 is a honeymoon year? this is the most headaching year!!! but i am glad i finally made a decision, and set a target for myself to pursue it. I hope this is not a wrong decision. I do really hope...

GOODBYE

today, i finally realise what is the meaning of "death". In the movie, even all the ppl all died , we still can see them stand still in the reality, after the show. But in reality, if someone really dead, it mean she really gone, her journey of life had stop , and will not intercept with ours, anymore.

Yesterday, i get a news about a teacher in my primary school had died in an accident. She is only 24 years old, a very nice and enthusiast teacher, her house is just a stone's throw from my house. She is my brother's classmate, my parent's coworker, and though , even she never teach me before, but she leave a not deep but nice impression on me.

Her death news come as a blot from the blue. It is totally unexpected, suprising, and frustrated, for anyone, especially her parents.Her parent is most shocked. She crushed into a lorry on the way she back from school . I heard that she died in a very grisly way. Bad news travel fast. A day after she died, her many friends, relatives and families rushed back from other place to her funeral, including my brother.

He rushed back yesterday afternoon, after working, and he looks tired and exhausted.he even dozed off in the car when we go to eat dinner. After dinner, he go to the teacher's home with other friends until midnight. then , today, he wake up at about 7.30 am and leave home at about 8.00am . i dont even have time to talk to him. nvm, i still have a lot of chance, but i hope he can take care himself, and get enough sleep and rest, cuz he is going back to kl this afternoon, to work..

and i hope the teacher will rest in peace in the heaven, in the embrace of the god. I become a little sentimental when i know she died, even though we are not close, but she is one of my acquaintance, and i often run into her in the western restaurant in front of my house. Now, i know, i will never see her again, i just can keep my memory about her, even though it is a little piece.

Goodbye, teacher...

BAD DAY..

Sometimes, reality is something beautiful, because it led us to truth.
But sometimes, reality is ugly because the truth we discovered is cruel.
just like a beautiful rose with thorn....

I sudden realise that what people say is true,when u smile,the world smile with u, when u cry, u cry alone.

a pitiful experience for me again, to endure pain that they give me...
long story to say, so it's better not start now. Just wait and see what will happen, hope that i can last until that day...

CONFUSION

Is water strong?
Is river strong?
Is sea strong?
After water become river,
yes, it is stronger.
After river become the sea,
it is no longer the matter of strong orr weak.
It is all water anyway.
OUR TRUE VALUE COMES NOT AS WATER ALONE,
BUT AS BECOMING PART OF THE OCEAN.

but, can I become part of the ocean?
I DOUBT IT....